Archive for the ‘children’ Category

Each To Their Own

Everybody has their own ideas and ways of doing things. That’s what makes the human race so diverse and interesting.
What works for you and what works for someone in Japan or Spain might be completely different and even on opposite ends of the spectrum. This does not mean that either of the approaches is right or wrong. All it means is that the ways are different!

There is a very good saying for this “each to their own”.

If you pick a topic, any topic, you cam find a myriad of books (yes, actual pages bound together) on that topic and with the internet being what it is, you can find a insane amount of articles, ebooks and other information on that same topic. The above statement rings more and more true in this regard. Even where there is only one source of information eg: the Bible, the way it is interpreted again leads to a host of different books etc.

All over social media you find statements like “this books is the way to go” or “this is the ONLY way to do it”. These are essentially incorrect because if that were the only way to do it then EVERYBODY would do it that way and there would be one book in every language etc. This is never the case in any case EVER. The only case this may exist is religion for example the Bible. This, however, has many different versions available. Clearly, there are very few cases like this.
I, like everyone else, have my opinions on things. So does everybody else. The current topic that springs to mind is children and how to bring them up. I only say this topic because we have a young daughter and have friends and relatives with kids too. There are “text book kids” and there are kids that break all the text book rules. I was apparently one of them. I had brothers that were “text book” too. We all managed to grow up and learn everything we needed to so clearly there is no “RIGHT WAY” to do it.

“Each to there own” rings true again.

Pick a topic and you will see that this statement is true.


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We never really grow up do we? The difficulties of a child and adults are very similar. They do not get any more difficult and in fact they probably get easier!
What am I talking about?
Currently my daughter is learning to crawl. At first she had no clue how to do it or where to start. As the days went past, she experimented and started to get the basics right. She did face plant a few times but that’s par for the course! I then got a message from my mom to say she is crawling to get things. She now is able to crawl around very basically but the progression is there. The more she praised by the people around her the faster she learns and the more she tries. Those people are also there to catch her as she falls or to pick her up and wipe the tears away (or take her to the hospital).

We are exactly the same just different! Take anything you have started for example. You start out clueless but with a few “face plants” and some time, progress is made and soon we are crawling then walking and finally running.

Make sure you have a good support structure to cheer you on and also to catch you before you face plant!

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Over the last 4 and a bit weeks, certain things have come to light for myself and it has changed the way I think about what I am doing.

My daughter arrived (Yes, I know – it is everything to me currently and it is not going to change) and suddenly the focus changed for Carrie and I. Our whole life and how we do things changed.

When it come to me personally, it only really affected me on a deep level when I started to do some training. Suddenly, the time was short and the opportunity to do the training was dramatically reduced. Gone are the days (for now) that I could go for a run just before dinner or when I get home from work.

I consulted my older brother (father to a dughter of 16 months at the time) because he had obviously was in the same boat. After a chat (whilst running – he did most of the talking), he gave me the insight that only the focus had really changed. It is how you use the time you have available that is now so critically important.

WOW! The value of training just went up ALOT!!

Looking back now, this had become apparent a few years back too, but I had not cognitively recognised it. I was a student full time for a long period and now had to start working. Whilst working I had to study as part of the articles I was serving with an auditing firm. This study was now part time and after hours! Same principle!

It does not matter what you have going on, time to yourself is precious. When you do use that time – there is certainly a concentration of effort in that time. This does not mean you have to work at a super fast fast or sprint the 5 km you planned, it means that when you are doing that activity – your mind is completely focused on that and nothing else.

What are you doing with that precious time?

Are you using to the full?

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Over the lat couple of weeks, our lives have changed forever. The arrival of our first child, Makayla, was amazing. It all happen so fast but thats another story. Due to having an emergency C – Section, my wife was in the hospital for 6 days recovering. This was a very tough time for me but I tried to be there as much as possible.

What made the time even tougher was that I got handed a notice of anticipated retrenchment. This obviously made work very difficult. The silver lining to the tough time at work was that with everything that was going on outside work and the fact that I am have a family now, made the tough time at work seem insignificant. All the little things that would normally grate me and make me angry, now were being laughed off as not important.

I am not saying that the problems at work were not important. I was giving 100% at work and always will but, there are now better things to worry about. The order of significance for the problem I face daily, has been completely rearranged forever.

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Every Tuesday morning a small group of people gather at the casualty entrance to Nkosi Albert Luthuli Hospital, a local government hospital in Durban, KwaZulu Natal, laden with a car load of bags, boxes, cases and trolleys.  When the full complement have arrived, we traipse along echoing corridors to the paediatric burns ward where we don hospital scrubs, disinfect with ‘doctor’s soap’ and get to work.  We gather any little patient who is not confined to bed and play. 

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