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Archive for the ‘Emotional ride’ Category

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Whatever you do in life both in your personal capacity and your professional life, there will ALWAYS be a down side to it. A relationship will turn sour or a business deal will fall through.
There are countless saying that try and conquer this occurrence. Here a few:
“Take the rough with the smooth”
“Roll with the punches”
“There will be ups and downs”
Etc. I am sure you can add at least three more.

Whatever happens and whatever sayings you hold onto, it still hurts when it happens. You still go through stages roughly the same as grief.

After starting my own photography business, there was one family that just was not happy about the photo shoot I did with them. It seemed like everything I did was not good enough. I am not saying it was perfect shoot at all. Anyway, I tried to go out of my way to make it right but when delivering the CD of photos, I got a lecture of disappointment and non delivery. It took a lot of grace and self discipline to launch at the person and tell them exactly what I thought. I stood there and took it and said goodbye and walked away.

You know in the cartoons when the character is so angry steam blows out of their ears – that was me! If it was not for a very wise and understanding wife to talk to, I may not have made it home safely. I was angry and upset to put it mildly.

This incident tore me into little pieces. But I had to hold onto the phrases mentioned above. By the time this incident had happened I have many great shoots and many happy customers and yet this one upset me more than those lifted me.

You have to cut lose of all the bad that is holding you down in order to appreciate the great that you have.

There have been many songs written about overcoming this. The greatest one that comes to mind is We are the champions by Queen. The lyrics include the lines
“But its been no bed of roses,
No pleasure cruise,
But I consider it a challenge before the whole human race,
That I’d never lose”

EVERYONE fails more than once but NOT EVERYONE rises EVERY time.
Only the great rise again!

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Have you given up already on certain things in your life?

I have!

How many times have you said “it is too hard” or “I just cannot do it”. The list of “reasons” I mean excuses that follow can range from logical to down right stupid. The list can as long as your leg and my leg together. You see, its easy to give up and then justify the action.

I do it ALL the time! I plan to get up early in the morning to go cycling. The alarm goes and I wake up and hit SNOOZE. Once. Twice. Three times. Then I reset the alarm for normal get up time. When that time comes I am now irritated that I should got up. I then list the excuses to my wife or anyone that will listen and beat myself up ALL day for not getting up.
I hate doing it and hate myself for doing it. Yet, I do it almost every single day.

I heard someone say today “she is so honest by saying she cannot do it because of …..”. I do not believe that’s honesty. That’s giving up and not having the courage to hit the tough stuff and get through it.

When you start giving up – the item simply becomes less important than something else. In my case, sleeping in becomes more important than whatever I was supposed to do.

How do you stop giving up?

Simple.

Just get up and do whatever you were going to do. Stop making excuses and do it.
A support structure is vital. Telling someone makes you accountable and they can help you through the tough times.
Accept that there will be tough times. No one said it will going to be easy!

The rest is up to you. Go and do it! Carpe diem!

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You have got to hold on. Hold on to whatever or whoever you have. Over the last year or so, I have been through a very rough time.

Go back to the rough times in your life and

I can guarantee that there was / is a constant something or someone. It may seem strange and you can disagree and argue all you want. When you analyse it enough there is a constant. Find it.

Find it and hold on. Find it and all you have to do is very simple. You have got to just hold on it.

In my rough time, it has been my family and few close friends. Some of them are close but some of them are a long way away. Distance does not matter here. Sometimes it was only a phone call or a Skype call. Whatever it was that told me that my family were there for me (us) in support, I will hold onto that.

Finding out what you have to hold onto also creates an opportunity to be supportive to others during rough times. Again, it may be small but, to them, it may mean the world.

Holding on to simple things is sometimes the only thing you have but it will make a huge difference in the way you handle a rough patch in life.

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Step 1

Fill your mind with positive things. Read encouraging, affirming books and listen to upbeat, happy music. Think about happy memories or things you have to look forward to rather than bad things that have happened or things you dread.

Step 2

Develop yourself spiritually. Research shows that those who are spiritual live longer and more satisfying lives.

Step 3

Keep positive people in your life. Avoid people who have a negative mindset and surround yourself with people who are upbeat, spiritual and fun.

Step 4

Practice positive thinking. Try not to let negative thoughts enter your atmosphere. Think instead of all the good things in your life, even if there aren’t very many. Concentrate on your good features instead of your faults.

Step 5

Laugh often. Watch a funny movie or hang out with someone who you can be silly with. Laughter is a great way to get a positive attitude.

Step 6

Learn something new or take up a new hobby. Get out and do things you love to do and enjoy yourself.

Step 7

Reevaluate your situation. It’s easy to think negative or pessimistic thoughts when something happens. However, when you think rationally about the facts instead of the fears, you can see a more positive side of things.

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I woke up this morning with a plan. I would leave home early, taking my wife to work and cycle home from toti (about 40 km of very nice cycling). Before that, I would stop in at the motor licensing place to change ownership of a motor vehicle as well as a stop at my wife’s cousin to discuss an awesome website he is designing. Wow! What a plan for a good day.

Well, someone has got a sense of humour and likes messing with my plans! I woke up this morning to rain and some howling wind. No cycling. I have to say I get grumpy if I plan to exercise and then do not. We head off to toti to take my wife to work and it was a pleasant trip. I dropped Carrie off, had a cup of coffee and headed to the licensing place. The wrong place! Doh! I get to the right place and they are short staffed and cannot serve me because they are doing two jobs. Get helped eventually. Head from there to Brads place – he is not there yet. Doh! Meanwhile, the sun had come out and the wind died down to a breeze. Doh!

My glorious plan for the day down the tubes. Now I am a serious grumpy bum – correct! You must say you would be if your days plan were completely derailed like that. What happened to my mood and attitude today? This where I made a choice. Today’ it was a conscious choice. I had to decide on the path I was going to take. I could take the road of disappointment and anger about how my day being derailed. I could however, make the decision to look for the silver linings and focus on the positives of what actually happens.

The day was actually very fruitful despite some hiccups. Every day and every moment you always have a choice. You may think you do not have a choice but you always do. Sometimes the choice will not be easy though. Life is not always easy and the choices can be difficult. The bottom line here is: you have a choice!

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Ups and downs. Rough patches and awesome experiences. They are all part of life and living. If you do not experience the lows – you could never enjoy the highs. They are called emotions and that is what makes life great.
A recent blog post by a popular sharks rugby supporter, after the Sharks had lost a Super 15

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