Archive for the ‘Emotions’ Category



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I have been to many, many music shows and services that involve music. The rule of thumb is the more talent and the latest technology – the better the music / show. These often involve hours and hours of practise together repeating introductions and ending over and over to make sure they are 100% in time etc.
I have played in a band before and the only truth above is the practise – or so I thought. It was proven otherwise just the other night.

We were at a church service the other night which had worship (singing songs) included. The worship team was made up 6 volunteers ie: not paid. They had played the instruments before. The single most amazing thing was they had never played together before EVER! The only rule to being part of this band was to be able to play the instrument you bring.

What was even more amazing and this is what made this band was the enthusiasm they had. They were not technically very good music wise and all the songs were exactly the same speed, but where talent lacked – enthusiasm reigned. And it reigned supreme. I had been to shows where we paid good money to watch professional musicians in a specifically built arena and it was rubbish quality sound.
The other night, enthusiasm reigned and the people loved it, enjoyed the music and had fun. What more could you ask for?
Sometimes, enthusiasm wins the day and in my opinion it should happen more often!

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Whatever you do in life both in your personal capacity and your professional life, there will ALWAYS be a down side to it. A relationship will turn sour or a business deal will fall through.
There are countless saying that try and conquer this occurrence. Here a few:
“Take the rough with the smooth”
“Roll with the punches”
“There will be ups and downs”
Etc. I am sure you can add at least three more.

Whatever happens and whatever sayings you hold onto, it still hurts when it happens. You still go through stages roughly the same as grief.

After starting my own photography business, there was one family that just was not happy about the photo shoot I did with them. It seemed like everything I did was not good enough. I am not saying it was perfect shoot at all. Anyway, I tried to go out of my way to make it right but when delivering the CD of photos, I got a lecture of disappointment and non delivery. It took a lot of grace and self discipline to launch at the person and tell them exactly what I thought. I stood there and took it and said goodbye and walked away.

You know in the cartoons when the character is so angry steam blows out of their ears – that was me! If it was not for a very wise and understanding wife to talk to, I may not have made it home safely. I was angry and upset to put it mildly.

This incident tore me into little pieces. But I had to hold onto the phrases mentioned above. By the time this incident had happened I have many great shoots and many happy customers and yet this one upset me more than those lifted me.

You have to cut lose of all the bad that is holding you down in order to appreciate the great that you have.

There have been many songs written about overcoming this. The greatest one that comes to mind is We are the champions by Queen. The lyrics include the lines
“But its been no bed of roses,
No pleasure cruise,
But I consider it a challenge before the whole human race,
That I’d never lose”

EVERYONE fails more than once but NOT EVERYONE rises EVERY time.
Only the great rise again!

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Are you a builder or a destroyer?


Do you build people up or cut them down?


I was talking to Bob* the other day. Bob and his sister have been mountain bikers for years and have done several long stages races. Recently George started mountain biking and because of his personality and kind of person he is, he decided to do a very tough stage race locally. He gave himself enough time to train and get all prepared.


I personally think he will finish the race. Finishing the race is a very difficult task but not impossible. Its also very prestigious to say you have finished the race.


The story has a point. Bob and his sister are sitting and waiting for George to fail or give up. They are not really offering their time or expertise in the area to build George up and help him attain his goal. They are rather constantly warning him about how hard it is and ragging him about how he is not going to make it.


This to me is not very nice of them but that is who they are. They are not overly ripping him to shreds and tearing him down but rather causing a little bit of doubt every time they talk to him. He is pretty doubtful about it already as he has realised the enormity of the goal. Having said this, he is a relatively fit human being and active too. He has also done a huge amount to attain this target in terms of diet and training so far. These actions lead me to believe he will attain it unless something unplanned goes wrong.


Often people put other people down because they want to look better about themselves. Often they do it because they are jealous of others actions. Either way it is not a positive way of treating people.

Do you build people up and encourage them to achieve whatever they are going for?




Do you tear them down by sowing seeds of doubt about their goals?



* Names have been changed – this does not matter as the story is for illustration purposes only.

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3 Sides

I found myself getting quite wound and really angry the other day when discussing a story that was being aired in the news reports on local radio. It was a story about a tragic event that happened in December 2012. They were going on and on and on about how tragic the events were and it is actually getting annoying because other things have happened that need to be told (in my opinion).

Any loss of life is not deserved or to be taken lightly but the event is actually not what I was getting angry over. It was the one sided reporting that got to me. My mom always said to me when fighting with my brothers “there are 3 sides to the story, your side, his side and the truth”.

Let’s take an example. Headline is read “tragic death on local road”. Yes, it is a tragedy – all loss of life is. The “other side” of the story is that the person was drunk and on the freeway. Death is never deserved but I believe the truth needs to be heard. Unfortunately, the news media works on sensationalism and plays on emotions. Far more newspapers will be sold with emotion attached than the truth.

I do not often listen to the radio or read the newspapers because of this. I do want to know what is going on around me but get somewhat angry and depressed with it being so negative and one sided! However, this is “my side” and you have the right to “your side”. The “truth” may never be told!

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We never really grow up do we? The difficulties of a child and adults are very similar. They do not get any more difficult and in fact they probably get easier!
What am I talking about?
Currently my daughter is learning to crawl. At first she had no clue how to do it or where to start. As the days went past, she experimented and started to get the basics right. She did face plant a few times but that’s par for the course! I then got a message from my mom to say she is crawling to get things. She now is able to crawl around very basically but the progression is there. The more she praised by the people around her the faster she learns and the more she tries. Those people are also there to catch her as she falls or to pick her up and wipe the tears away (or take her to the hospital).

We are exactly the same just different! Take anything you have started for example. You start out clueless but with a few “face plants” and some time, progress is made and soon we are crawling then walking and finally running.

Make sure you have a good support structure to cheer you on and also to catch you before you face plant!

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You have got to hold on. Hold on to whatever or whoever you have. Over the last year or so, I have been through a very rough time.

Go back to the rough times in your life and

I can guarantee that there was / is a constant something or someone. It may seem strange and you can disagree and argue all you want. When you analyse it enough there is a constant. Find it.

Find it and hold on. Find it and all you have to do is very simple. You have got to just hold on it.

In my rough time, it has been my family and few close friends. Some of them are close but some of them are a long way away. Distance does not matter here. Sometimes it was only a phone call or a Skype call. Whatever it was that told me that my family were there for me (us) in support, I will hold onto that.

Finding out what you have to hold onto also creates an opportunity to be supportive to others during rough times. Again, it may be small but, to them, it may mean the world.

Holding on to simple things is sometimes the only thing you have but it will make a huge difference in the way you handle a rough patch in life.

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