Posts Tagged ‘Attitude’



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The Way You See It

The attitude you hold or the mindset you have about anything is the crucial factor in life. How you look at things is the difference between those experiences being a drain and a stressful event or an amazing,  exciting time in your life. By no means, just because you have the correct attitude will it mean that the experience will be less difficult to deal with. It might well be as difficult but you will come through and out the other side a stronger,  mpre positive person.

In the workplace,  retrenchment is possibly the most difficult situation to find yourself in. A few years ago, I found my self in a fantastic job with a company that looked only to be expanding and going places. I was under some great people and they were happy to share there knowledge ans expertise so we could achieve those goals and targets.  That dream ended pretty rapidly when I found myself the perfect candidate of the LIFO method ie: last in first out. On paper, it is a very logical and simple way to deal with such a situation.  In this respect, I cannot fault or blame the company.  In real life, the bitter pill was a lot harder to swallow.

After talking it over, I managed to swallow that pill and learned that it was actually one of the biggest blessings I have ever had. I received the news of my retrenchment 2 days after my daughter (and first child) was born and my wife was in hospital. I told her that evening and finished up just days after she and my daughter were discharged. It was an extended stay because of various complications.  My wife and daughter, at that moment, needed me to look after them. The retrenchment gave me that opportunity.  Although I still furiously hunted for a job daily, over the next 4 1/2 months,  I built a bond with my daughter that goes beyond all words.
There is no telling life will bring you. Be sure that when it arrives, you look at it in the right way because, although it may be a exponential learning curve, it may just be the best thing for you to go through.  The attitude you go in with will determine the lessons you learn from the experience.

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Why Me?

Tom explained to Bob over lunch how he had been burgled the night before. He was upset and angry with everyone. The people who broke in. The security company for not coming soon enough. The local police for not making arrests yet. He was even upset with himself for not being able to protect his family even though no one was hurt.
Bob leant over and said “why you?”
Tom is a big man – tall and well built. His face went red in an instant. He started on a 5 minutes rant about all the good he has done and all the people he had helped.

Bob had to time his interruption perfectly.

“Tom, I meant why did God spare you and your family?”

He was expecting to have to duck a flying fist from the other side of the table but instead he watched as his friends face went from bright red anger to calm appreciation.

He suddenly realised the fact that God had indeed kept his family in his hands – safe and unharmed. He realised that instead of why has something bad happened to me – the question was why was I kept safe. This question was pertinent in the current spate of home invasions and murders occurring in the town.

The mood of the conversation had changed dramatically and was now a joyful praise for all the blessings the 2 friends have in their lives.

Whenever you ask the question “Why me?” Ask it again but from a different angle. From the other angle. From the angle of praise, not the angle of anger and fear.

Once we do this, our lives take on a different, better angle.

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Have you given up already on certain things in your life?

I have!

How many times have you said “it is too hard” or “I just cannot do it”. The list of “reasons” I mean excuses that follow can range from logical to down right stupid. The list can as long as your leg and my leg together. You see, its easy to give up and then justify the action.

I do it ALL the time! I plan to get up early in the morning to go cycling. The alarm goes and I wake up and hit SNOOZE. Once. Twice. Three times. Then I reset the alarm for normal get up time. When that time comes I am now irritated that I should got up. I then list the excuses to my wife or anyone that will listen and beat myself up ALL day for not getting up.
I hate doing it and hate myself for doing it. Yet, I do it almost every single day.

I heard someone say today “she is so honest by saying she cannot do it because of …..”. I do not believe that’s honesty. That’s giving up and not having the courage to hit the tough stuff and get through it.

When you start giving up – the item simply becomes less important than something else. In my case, sleeping in becomes more important than whatever I was supposed to do.

How do you stop giving up?


Just get up and do whatever you were going to do. Stop making excuses and do it.
A support structure is vital. Telling someone makes you accountable and they can help you through the tough times.
Accept that there will be tough times. No one said it will going to be easy!

The rest is up to you. Go and do it! Carpe diem!

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It Is All About Me

Whilst Christmas shopping in a local shopping centre, I saw a t-shirt that read “its all about me”. I laughed it off as typically selfish of the wearer. On deeper thought, I changed my mind and realised that it is not always wrong for it to be about ME.

Treat others as you would want them to treat you is the age old saying. Love thy neighbour as thyself says the Bible. Most of the time we are expected to give and treat others well but its frowned upon when we spoil ourselves! That’s not what the above sayings say! It does not say love thy neighbour more than yourself!

When you feel like loving yourself – DO IT! It cannot be deemed selfish when it makes you happy provided that it does not put anybody else down or illegal.
I would a 50/50 split is the way to go as a minimum. I will explain. Spend at least 50% of your time loving others and giving of your time etc and the remaining 50% of your time on your self.

Be careful not to spend ALL your time on others. You are important! You are worth it!

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Every office of any size or configuration has got one. It is the office grumpy. Whether it is sunshine and hot or snowing and cold outside – it is always cloudy around this person!
There can be no good option to this person and even a happy smile and a warm, energetic hello cannot warrant more than a grunt!
I am not talking the occasional bad day or gloomy patch because of stress. This cloud never clears – EVER!
There are 3 things you must realise with this person:
1. No one has a reason or deserves to be that grumpy for that long.
They may think that they have a reason but they do not.
2. Do not add to the grumpy cloud.
Do not try to console them or listen to their woes – they will suck you in and give you some grump too!
3. You can learn from this person.
I am being serious! Often this person will be isolated from others and not get involved for any number of about 106 reasons they will give. Effectively, you have to do the opposite of what they do. If the day is not going well – do not wallow in self pity – spin the positive and use it for your good!

So can you help?
1. NEVER ignore the person.
Tricky. Always be courteous and genuine towards the person.
2. ALWAYS include them. IF they accept – encourage them and treat them as an equal.
3. Treat them like anybody else (As in number 2). Despite what some people may think – NO ONE is more special than anybody else!

No one likes the office grump.
No one deserves being the office grump.
No one has a reason to be the office grump.

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