Posts Tagged ‘Change’


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Have you changed?

We took a drive one December to see an old colleague and we had a great time. They were and still are great guys and we had a great day by the pool. 3 years later, we did the same trip almost to the hour, even getting lost as we did 3 years ago. This time my daugther was 3 years older and my son was already 1 year old. They, as they do, took us in and we had a fantastic time. They took on our kids as they were best friends that see them every weekend. A great time was had by all of us.

When we got back home, I sent a message of thanks to them and also to tell them we got home safely (it was about 130km trip). At first I was surprised at the message that was sent back. It said, “thank you for a great day and I am so glad that you guys have not changed at all”.It had been 3 years since the last time we went to their house and a huge amount of change had happened in that time to each one of us.

Amongst other things, I had been retrenched, started my own business and our family grew with another bundle of joy. Some pretty dramatic changes, if you ask me!Having thought about this comment for a little while, it dawned on me that actually, despite all the changes that occur in our daily lives, the core person you are should not actually change. Just because I had been retrenched, it does not mean that i should change who i am. Your core values and who you are as a person should actually never change.

A fine example of this is a long, loving marriage. 2 young, energetic people get together and get married. 50 years later, that marriage is still going. The couple may not be as young and energetic anymore but on the inside, they are still the same person. They are the person that the other fell in love with – just with 50 years of life. The point here is that the person inside should never change. Circumstances may change the outer covering but it does not change who you are.

The next time someone says, after you have seen each other for many years, “you have not changed a bit”, take it as a compliment. Who you are inside is what is important and is what others will notice more than the outer appearance.

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There is very little point of dwelling in the past. Yes, we all make mistakes in our lives. That is part of living and part of life. They are there not to break us but rather to make us stronger.

Recently, I have been around people that are sitting around looking backwards. Looking at the previous month or two and sometimes longer and blaming everybody and anything for them not succeeding. This is actually depressing for myself because of 2 reasons:

1. I am moving forward with my life and being an influence to those around me by doing this and

2. I can see the potential that they are missing out on – the opportunities that are bashing on their doors. They are ignoring these and I find that frustrating.

Unfortunately, I cannot jump up and grab those opportunities because its not in my sphere. (otherwise, I would have already)

Move On

People try to go forward by walking backwards. Unless you have eyes on the back of your head, you cannot do this successfully. You will always doing either 50% because you are trying to do both.

At some point you, you HAVE TO move on.

You have to accept that bad things happened.

You have to learn from these bad things.

You have to MOVE ON.

Build that bridge

One of my favourite saying for this type of situations is this: Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. Every step has to be taken to be ‘get over’ whatever it is that has happened.

There is no point trying to cross a river without a bridge because you will get caught up in the rapids.

There is no point in building a bridge before you cried the river.

There is no point in trying to get over that bridge if you have half built the bridge. You will fall into the river and get carried away by the rapids.

Lost potential

There is nothing more upsetting than watching potential being wasted. When you walk backwards, dwell in the past and not looking forward, you are wasting potential. You can never get that potential back.

All it takes is to turn around by learning from your mistakes and start running with the motivation and energy that drives you to go forward. Nothing can stop you achieving whatever you want.

So what is holding your granny panties down?

Cry the river, build the bridge, Pull up your granny panties and get over it!

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What is the reason you get up in the morning?
Why do you do what you do on a daily basis?
Do you even have a reason for getting up, traipsing through endless rows of traffic only to sit at desk for 9 to 11 hours returning the same way in the dark?
Why do you pour yourself into your blog daily?
Do you even enjoy what you do?

Do you do it for the recognition it gets you?
Do you do it for the likes or retweets or the number of fans your Facebook page has?

Let me tell you – THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!

If you do anything for the money – you are doing it for the wrong reasons! There has to be another, deeper reason for you to do whatever you do.

I want you to think of a very successful person. Got it? Why do you think they do what they do? Chances are you said money but you are wrong. They do it because they love what they do.

I have met some very wealthy people in a few seminars I have attended. I remember one particular guy telling us exactly why he does what he does. He held us in anticipation for a few seconds and then flicked to the next slide. To our amazement – it was a beautiful family portrait. His 4 kids and his wife and him. That was his why.

I hold a bachelors degree. I did it part time. It took a long, long time to complete. Many, many late nights and many early mornings were spent on the almost 8 year journey. Invitations were often turned down with “sorry, I have to study”. There were times when I questioned going on but my why was always answered those questions.

The answer is simple. My family. It started so I could build a better career to provide a foundation for a future with my then girlfriend. That amazing women is now my wife. The focus did not change really. Having said it changed slightly when our daughter arrived. Slightly different focus but the same why!

When all is stripped away. When all is said and done. Why?

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