Posts Tagged ‘Change’

We all have a switch inside of us that when pushed by anyone or any situation can make us go from calm and placid to angry in a split second. Lets call it the angry switch. We have all been through this type of situation –  be it a little brother or sister that pokes us in the ribs in the car or a colleague at work which seems to rub you up the wrong way all day! These are just simple examples.

There is good news though.

We all have a “Pause” button. It is inside there somewhere. It may be dusty and hidden or even rusty but it is still there.

How do you use this button?

It takes practice to get this right.

Step 1. Know your triggers. Learn what flicks that angry switch on.

Step 2. Feel the switch flick on and know whats coming.

Step 3. Hit the PAUSE button!

What does this mean?

When you hit the pause button, you have to consciously tell yourself to not react or even walk away. If you react when your emotions are high (be it anger, frustration etc), you will not react in the proper manner. If you hit the pause button and then react, you will have time to think in a responsible manner. Consequently, you will react in a way that will be good and proper often resulting in the situation fizzling out and being forgotten because it is not important.

There have been a few occasions where this has saved me recently both at work and socially. Let me explain. I get very involved when I spectate at the local sports ground. I get very vocal. I NEVER boo or swear out loud. Because we have season tickets and sit in the same seats for every game, the people around me know this. Some of them are more vocal than me. some of them just ignore me. There are people a couple of rows below ours that express their disapproval towards my actions.

The last game I attended, one adult turned around and gave a few choice words about my actions. At this point, I was already very aware of how emotional I was. I knew what I had to do. I also knew what I would like to do.

What did I do? I just listened and let him have his opinion. I do not think I said anything.

As you can imagine, I was upset and angry but I had not reacted and this was a very big step for me. As I said earlier – this takes practice.

This is an example about something socially where the consequences do not often result in the dramatic results. IN business however, they can result in major consequences including financial. Sometimes when the email comes or the telephone gets put down – its best to walk away for 10 minutes before approaching the situation again. This will limit the damage down by reacting while emotions are high.

When emotions are high, hit the PAUSE BUTTON to release the pressure.

How do you handle your emotions? Let us know so we can try it too.

Read Full Post »

Say “Yes”

Read Full Post »

Read Full Post »

Read Full Post »

Some days come and go without a hitch but some will stick with us forever.  The days, weeks, months and years seem to be flying passed more quickly than ever before but some days will change the course of your life and those around forever.
Some of these dates you will remember for the rest of your life and some days you will remember because of what happened on that specific day.
For example. Who can tell me where you were when JFK was shot? When you first heard that Princess Diana had died? Where you were when they first landed on the moon?

These days do not define us but they direct our lives. This can happen as an individual, as a family or group and even a nation. These days certainly change us and it is up to us where that change takes us. We can use it constructively to build a better life or we can use the days to destroy ourselves.

A very good example is the tragedy of 9/11. The USA (and most of the world) was brought together that horrible day. The events have been used to cement the unity of mankind and innumerable positive acts are being told and heard around the world because of the events that followed that event.

In November 2011, I was lining up to having the life I wanted for myself and my family. A good job which I loved. A wife who I adore and who was expecting our first child any day. “one of these days” arrived and I was retrenched just 2 days after our daughter was born. the next four and half months was incredibly tough but I used it in 2 very powerful ways – the 2 most incredible blessings ever. #1 I was able to look after my wife in her recovery after the birth. #2 I got to spend the first four and a half months with our precious daughter. Yes it was stressful but it was an amazing blessing and something that I will cherish forever.

You and only you choose what to do with these days. No one can force you to use these days a building block to great success and to become the person you always wanted to be but know this: no one can force these days to destroy you either. Either way – IT IS YOU THAT DECIDES. That’s rule number 1. Rule number 2 is equally as important. NO DECISION IS A DECISION. people think that because they did not choose something, they are being forced into doing whatever it was. RUBBISH! You may not actively choose something but that means that you are choosing not to choose. By not taking action you are actually taking action to do nothing and that inaction comes with consequences.

We have all had “these days” in out lifetime – both good and bad. Let these days be the chapters of your book that make it a bestseller, the building blocks to your happiness.

What are you going to do with “the days that changed” (and will change) your life?

Read Full Post »

Your attitude determines a lot about you as a person and affects everyone around you. The collective attitude of the group of people around you has a bigger (although different) effect. The attitude of entire country has an effect of being to determine where that country is going.
I live in Durban, South Africa and over the last couple of years I have become aware of 3 areas where attitudes make a massive difference.
1. Cyclists.

I am a cyclist and do a fair deal of road cycling. The general attitude towards cyclists from motorists is that they should not be in the road. It goes the other way too with cyclists believing that motorists are out to get them and they are reckless. I am saying that both are 100% to blame for the stupidity that this causes. Being able to comment on both side of the coin, my opinion is this: cyclists often cause their own trouble by riding 2 or 3 abreast. Having said that, motorists often are very impatient and do sudden turns without indicating or stopping suddenly etc. Dangerous to all road users!
What I suggest? If you are cycling, be aware of cars and other road users and ride single file if necessary and let the person pass. Safer for all. If you are a motorist and you come across cyclists – do not hoot! This is very startling for cyclists and causes accidents. If there is a group in the lane, slow down exercise a little patience, make sure there is room to pass and take over as you would a normal car. It may slow your trip down by about 2 minutes but that’s something you have to deal with.

2. Pedestrians.

Not all roads have pavements. Not all pavements are clear from bushes etc. Things happen! Discard those items from the argument. I am talking here about walking in the MIDDLE of the road regardless of any pavements or walkways etc. This is not unique to cities in South Africa – it happens everywhere. Not only does this occur but the following often happens to me. You are turning into a road and have to stop mid turn to allow a pedestrian to cross the road – often holding up traffic behind you. These people do not look left, right and left again before crossing – they just walk. This is ingrained into the psyche of the people who do it. These people often complain with hand gestures when they are asked to move aside for a car! They BELIEVE they are entitled to walk across the road without looking.

3. Litter.
This has become more of an irritation to me over the last couple of years. People with buy something from the shop, use it (eat / look at etc) and discard it on the floor where they are walking. No one likes carrying rubbish around with them. That’s a given. At least have the decency to walk a few steps with it and put it in the rubbish bin! In and around Durban, there are numerous bins all over the place, on street corners, lamp poles and especially inside shopping centres. I would guess that you (on average) could not walk more than 200 metres in any direction without walking past (or into) a bin (or 2) of some sort. You may have cross the road but you can get over that excuse. The result of this attitude is a dirty, grubby looking city which no one likes to see.
I have heard a disgusting attitude say “it provides employment for people” – that’s technically correct but is a horrible attitude to have. That person is educated too which it even worse.
I admit – I have been known throw apple cores out the window. I also made certain that they go onto the grass. They are biodegradable.

Attitudes are great to have but they can also tear into the belly of a great nation. Sort your attitude out first though!

Read Full Post »

One day I decided to quit….
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. .
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

‘God’, I asked, ‘Can you give me one good reason not to quit?’
His answer surprised me…
‘Look around’, He said. ‘Do you see the fern and the bamboo?’
‘Yes’, I replied.
‘When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo’, He said.

‘In year three, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would not quit.’ He said.

‘Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. .

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
‘I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.’

He asked me.
‘Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling,
you have actually been growing roots’.

‘I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you.’
‘Don’t compare yourself to others.’

He said.
‘The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet the forest they both make beautiful.’
‘Your time will come’,

God said to me.
‘You will rise high’
‘How high should I rise?’  I asked.
‘How high will the bamboo rise?’ He asked in return.
‘As high as it can?’ I questioned.
He said,
‘Give me glory by rising as high as you can.’

I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.

For Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »