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There is very little point of dwelling in the past. Yes, we all make mistakes in our lives. That is part of living and part of life. They are there not to break us but rather to make us stronger.

Recently, I have been around people that are sitting around looking backwards. Looking at the previous month or two and sometimes longer and blaming everybody and anything for them not succeeding. This is actually depressing for myself because of 2 reasons:

1. I am moving forward with my life and being an influence to those around me by doing this and

2. I can see the potential that they are missing out on – the opportunities that are bashing on their doors. They are ignoring these and I find that frustrating.

Unfortunately, I cannot jump up and grab those opportunities because its not in my sphere. (otherwise, I would have already)

Move On

People try to go forward by walking backwards. Unless you have eyes on the back of your head, you cannot do this successfully. You will always doing either 50% because you are trying to do both.

At some point you, you HAVE TO move on.

You have to accept that bad things happened.

You have to learn from these bad things.

You have to MOVE ON.

Build that bridge

One of my favourite saying for this type of situations is this: Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. Every step has to be taken to be ‘get over’ whatever it is that has happened.

There is no point trying to cross a river without a bridge because you will get caught up in the rapids.

There is no point in building a bridge before you cried the river.

There is no point in trying to get over that bridge if you have half built the bridge. You will fall into the river and get carried away by the rapids.

Lost potential

There is nothing more upsetting than watching potential being wasted. When you walk backwards, dwell in the past and not looking forward, you are wasting potential. You can never get that potential back.

All it takes is to turn around by learning from your mistakes and start running with the motivation and energy that drives you to go forward. Nothing can stop you achieving whatever you want.

So what is holding your granny panties down?

Cry the river, build the bridge, Pull up your granny panties and get over it!

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Having a chat over coffee with a friend, I was having a moan about life and all things bad about it. He patiently listened and heard my story. After about 45 minutes of backwards and forwards conversation, he calmly slipped into the conversation that I need to look at everything from a different perspective.

A bit taken aback, I listened to what he had to say. He went onto list (more…)

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Each and every January, just about everybody seems to be setting goals and writing down resolutions for the coming year. Many of these goals do not get achieved. Many of them do not even get a plan to achieve them. Most of them actually do not have a chance of getting attained.

The goal is not the most important aspect but rather the process in order to get to that goal. that is the most important part of the whole process. What am I talking about? Go and search “goal setting” in your favourite search engine and you will get millions of results that all tell you what your goals should be and how to set them. Only about 10% actually tell you about the process or plan to get to those goals. Let me explain using a personal example.

I am a road cyclist. I am not a serious road cyclist by any stretch of the imagination. I have set myself a goal to rise 3 000 km this year. A modest total to ride. I could easily make that 5 000 or even 10 000km. Having said that, when I set that goal, I looked at all the years I have ridden and the goals I have set and not once have I attained those lofty numbers for various reasons. I have to take those circumstances into account when setting my goals. I have other goals too! A few of them take more priority over my cycling.

The goal is 3 000 km. Does the process end there? NO! That is about 1% of the process. the biggest question is how I am going to achieve the 3 000km.

Break it down into 12 months – 250km per month.

Break it down into 52 weeks – 57.69 km per week.

How am I going to achieve that 57.69 km? 3 rides per week. 2 during the week in the morning and one longer ride on the weekend.

This may sound easy to any cyclist out there, but you have to take into consideration that there will be at least 5 weekends away on holiday which include ZERO cycling. There is at least one week planned this year for vacation with ZERO cycling. These add up!

The list goes on. You get the point.

Setting goals is the start. The process of achieving those goals is the critical part!

How are you going to achieve your goals for this year?

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Say “Yes”

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Your attitude determines a lot about you as a person and affects everyone around you. The collective attitude of the group of people around you has a bigger (although different) effect. The attitude of entire country has an effect of being to determine where that country is going.
I live in Durban, South Africa and over the last couple of years I have become aware of 3 areas where attitudes make a massive difference.
1. Cyclists.

I am a cyclist and do a fair deal of road cycling. The general attitude towards cyclists from motorists is that they should not be in the road. It goes the other way too with cyclists believing that motorists are out to get them and they are reckless. I am saying that both are 100% to blame for the stupidity that this causes. Being able to comment on both side of the coin, my opinion is this: cyclists often cause their own trouble by riding 2 or 3 abreast. Having said that, motorists often are very impatient and do sudden turns without indicating or stopping suddenly etc. Dangerous to all road users!
What I suggest? If you are cycling, be aware of cars and other road users and ride single file if necessary and let the person pass. Safer for all. If you are a motorist and you come across cyclists – do not hoot! This is very startling for cyclists and causes accidents. If there is a group in the lane, slow down exercise a little patience, make sure there is room to pass and take over as you would a normal car. It may slow your trip down by about 2 minutes but that’s something you have to deal with.


2. Pedestrians.

Not all roads have pavements. Not all pavements are clear from bushes etc. Things happen! Discard those items from the argument. I am talking here about walking in the MIDDLE of the road regardless of any pavements or walkways etc. This is not unique to cities in South Africa – it happens everywhere. Not only does this occur but the following often happens to me. You are turning into a road and have to stop mid turn to allow a pedestrian to cross the road – often holding up traffic behind you. These people do not look left, right and left again before crossing – they just walk. This is ingrained into the psyche of the people who do it. These people often complain with hand gestures when they are asked to move aside for a car! They BELIEVE they are entitled to walk across the road without looking.

3. Litter.
This has become more of an irritation to me over the last couple of years. People with buy something from the shop, use it (eat / look at etc) and discard it on the floor where they are walking. No one likes carrying rubbish around with them. That’s a given. At least have the decency to walk a few steps with it and put it in the rubbish bin! In and around Durban, there are numerous bins all over the place, on street corners, lamp poles and especially inside shopping centres. I would guess that you (on average) could not walk more than 200 metres in any direction without walking past (or into) a bin (or 2) of some sort. You may have cross the road but you can get over that excuse. The result of this attitude is a dirty, grubby looking city which no one likes to see.
I have heard a disgusting attitude say “it provides employment for people” – that’s technically correct but is a horrible attitude to have. That person is educated too which it even worse.
I admit – I have been known throw apple cores out the window. I also made certain that they go onto the grass. They are biodegradable.

Attitudes are great to have but they can also tear into the belly of a great nation. Sort your attitude out first though!

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