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Posts Tagged ‘silver linings’

Having a chat over coffee with a friend, I was having a moan about life and all things bad about it. He patiently listened and heard my story. After about 45 minutes of backwards and forwards conversation, he calmly slipped into the conversation that I need to look at everything from a different perspective.

A bit taken aback, I listened to what he had to say. He went onto list (more…)

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We  all have to face trials and periods of turmoil in our lives. No one of any age, creed or colour can escape that fact. However, whatever you may think and whatever you may believe regarding this fact – the following statement is true.

No matter how dark and how terrible the situation you face is, there is ALWAYS hope.

There is ALWAYS a positive aspect to the situation.

As long as you have a simple glimmer of hope – that is enough to keep going. Hope is the creator of greatness. It is the stuff that makes us get up in the morning and keep going despite what you are told and what you believe.

The sliver lining in the dark is often hiding right there in plain sight. The problem is that most of the time we are looking down. You are never going to see the sun when you are looking in the shadows.

Look up and you will see something more positive than what you see when you look down. The fact that you are still breathing is probably the biggest piece of hope to hold onto. If you are breathing, you can still fight for what you want, love the people in your life and look up to see something great.

Stop looking in the dark for for the glimmer of hope you need to carry on fighting, for if you only looked up you would see it!

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Some days come and go without a hitch but some will stick with us forever.  The days, weeks, months and years seem to be flying passed more quickly than ever before but some days will change the course of your life and those around forever.
Some of these dates you will remember for the rest of your life and some days you will remember because of what happened on that specific day.
For example. Who can tell me where you were when JFK was shot? When you first heard that Princess Diana had died? Where you were when they first landed on the moon?

These days do not define us but they direct our lives. This can happen as an individual, as a family or group and even a nation. These days certainly change us and it is up to us where that change takes us. We can use it constructively to build a better life or we can use the days to destroy ourselves.

A very good example is the tragedy of 9/11. The USA (and most of the world) was brought together that horrible day. The events have been used to cement the unity of mankind and innumerable positive acts are being told and heard around the world because of the events that followed that event.

In November 2011, I was lining up to having the life I wanted for myself and my family. A good job which I loved. A wife who I adore and who was expecting our first child any day. “one of these days” arrived and I was retrenched just 2 days after our daughter was born. the next four and half months was incredibly tough but I used it in 2 very powerful ways – the 2 most incredible blessings ever. #1 I was able to look after my wife in her recovery after the birth. #2 I got to spend the first four and a half months with our precious daughter. Yes it was stressful but it was an amazing blessing and something that I will cherish forever.

You and only you choose what to do with these days. No one can force you to use these days a building block to great success and to become the person you always wanted to be but know this: no one can force these days to destroy you either. Either way – IT IS YOU THAT DECIDES. That’s rule number 1. Rule number 2 is equally as important. NO DECISION IS A DECISION. people think that because they did not choose something, they are being forced into doing whatever it was. RUBBISH! You may not actively choose something but that means that you are choosing not to choose. By not taking action you are actually taking action to do nothing and that inaction comes with consequences.

We have all had “these days” in out lifetime – both good and bad. Let these days be the chapters of your book that make it a bestseller, the building blocks to your happiness.

What are you going to do with “the days that changed” (and will change) your life?

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Everything you have done, everything you have experienced has brought you to the point where you are right now. It is a pretty simple statement but it needs to be looked at. Everything you have done and experienced has prepared you for what you are about to do.

Let’s look at few examples: a professional golfer stands on the first tee in a tournament. Before this moment, he has hit 10 000’s of practice shots and done exercises to prepare him to be able become better. Practiced for hours on end without anybody watching to prepare for this moment.

A singer stands up front of an audience to give a performance that will make her career and set her up with contracts for a long time. Before this moment, she has sung countless bars of music in countless places. Practiced for hours on end without anybody watching to prepare for this moment.

The examples are every one’s life. Yours and mine. They do not only have to apply to a Hollywood style come back or meteoric rise to fame and fortune. The difference is how we use ‘everything’. We can use it in 2 ways:

1. We can focus on the negative aspects or ‘bad things’ OR

2. Use the whole experience to focus on the positive aspect in order to become ‘better people’

I will use my year of 2011 and show how to apply the above points.

I held 3 jobs that did not work out,

I only cycled about 1 800 km the whole year – pretty dismal distance from a ‘cyclist’,

I failed more subjects than I passed in terms of studying

And I weighed more at the end of the year than the beginning.

Pretty bad points that I could easily focus on. Easy to point fun at IF you do not have the facts behind these facts and the positive aspects to my year.

The facts behind my year:

The first job was a contract position that was not renewed, the second I left in search of better opportunities and the better opportunity retrenched me.

I only cycled that distance for a few reasons. I had hand surgery that kept me out for 2 months at least.

The Positives:

I am now a father to a perfect baby girl.

I am married to an amazing wife, AND

We have an amazing support structure of friends and family.

The positive experience account for the cycling studying not going to well.

So how am I going to use the year that was 2011? By following the second point above in the following way:

1. Analysis what happened during 2011. Most things were pretty much cause and effect for me so this is pretty simple.

2. Plan the year ahead carefully. Take all events into consideration (obviously as much as is available)

3. Use the support structure I / we have to maintain an even keel throughout the year.

4. Be flexible. Things happen and cause things to change so being able to chop and change (only when necessary) is a very good tool to have.

5. Enjoy life. It takes work but it’s worth it! I love my wife and little girl and intend on enjoying them all the time I have them around.

It is never too late to use your ‘everything’! How are you going to use your ‘everything’?

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This is something we should all read at least once a week!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.

Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others.

You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

But don’t worry;  God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the
second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion.

Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

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The finest things in life should remain potent.

1.The f-word. When you overuse it, you dilute its punch. But when the time is right, just see how far “Forget you, man! Forget you!” will take you.

2 Sorrows. They won’t drown. Trust us.

3 Your desires. If you keep to yourself how badly you want a raise, oral sex or a biscuit, you’ll score none of them. Nobody can read your mind.

4 Her T-shirt. Unless she says, “Please, please, pretty please!”

5 Likes and dislikes. You don’t have to dig The Office. You don’t have to hate He’s Just Not That Into You. Enjoy what you enjoy and make no apologies. But you can, if you so choose, decide who to tell these things to. Which brings us to…

6 The truth. Dirty laundry, rattling skeletons, hidden histories: that is the truth. It’s so rare and valuable that people hoard it, bury it and pay huge sums to keep it secret. The truth equals your true worth. That’s why it’s so powerful when you speak it in full. Which you should, when you speak it at all.

7 Your gaze. Focused eyes speak. They are passionate. They tell a woman that she’s meaningful and a man that you mean business. Don’t look away until they know it.

8 Your reaction to someone’s deliberate disrespect.

9 Family time. When you are with the people that matter, leave your phone alone and appreciate what’s really important.

10 Time for yourself. You’re not alone if your cellphone is on. Or if you’re checking email. Or if – hey, what’s your girlfriend doing here? Tell her to go home. It’s okay, really. People may always be looking for you, but they’ll understand if you’re not always available.

11 Your praise. Two things enrich a compliment: earnestness and a heartfelt grin. One thing makes your compliment worthless: the word “but”.

12 Chillies. Water won’t help you a damn bit. Milk, my friend, milk.

13 Pancake mix. Leave it goopy and you’ll get flapjacks like soft couch cushions.

14 Effort. It’s easy to say you’ll give it your all. But if that were easy to actually do, wouldn’t you be done by now?

15 Your other five senses: humour, style, direction, honour and wonder.

16 Your manners. Ladies will appreciate it – and other men will respect it.

17 Your brain. Do you have any idea how much more satisfying Chandler, Hemingway, Capote and other writers are than reality TV? Any idea?

18 Anything you create. Whether you’re building a brick braai or writing a novel, if there’s a certain way you want it, you damn well better make it that way. Compromise with women and neighbours, not yourself.

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Over the lat couple of weeks, our lives have changed forever. The arrival of our first child, Makayla, was amazing. It all happen so fast but thats another story. Due to having an emergency C – Section, my wife was in the hospital for 6 days recovering. This was a very tough time for me but I tried to be there as much as possible.

What made the time even tougher was that I got handed a notice of anticipated retrenchment. This obviously made work very difficult. The silver lining to the tough time at work was that with everything that was going on outside work and the fact that I am have a family now, made the tough time at work seem insignificant. All the little things that would normally grate me and make me angry, now were being laughed off as not important.

I am not saying that the problems at work were not important. I was giving 100% at work and always will but, there are now better things to worry about. The order of significance for the problem I face daily, has been completely rearranged forever.

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